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About Varied / Student TheSleepingGodsMale/United States Recent Activity
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I have an issue that I've been mulling over for...well, years.

I've been taking classes for years online for digital painting, art classes up the wazoo. And my style is still only as good as it was in Middle School. My lines are no better, my technical skills in all aspects are not improved in the least.

Is this the fate some of us are bound to? We have all the visions in our head, sure I can write a book or a story to put my ideas into the world and people's eyes. But I also have a burning hunger to see the ideas through paint, art of the hands or another medium.

This troubles me because as an creative soul it weighs on me heavily I have made no improvement in the last 14 years. 

I will always write, but when I have lulls I have the urge to draw. However, the drawings ignite a rage inside me that I can't put out unless I throw my paper against the wall. I'm not an abstract artist, that would never appeal to me.

All the books in the world haven't helped despite my constant drawing.

Complaining is finished. Go about your lives.
Let not the sting of death bear upon your weary spirit.
Death and the Weary
My boyfriend's grandfather passed away yesterday. And all I can think about is my own loss, the lingering depression that it causes.
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Ebran Headshot Sketch by TheSleepingGods
Ebran Headshot Sketch
My commissioned sketch of Ebran Feyla from my fantasy series, Tales of the Sleeping Gods. He's so handsome, the talented :iconpenguinfrontier: got his features spot on!

#tosg
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Who do some of us suffer from this? What sort of make-up dictates those afflicted with this constant knowing?

What is this depression?

It's a depression that comes from being utterly and totally aware of our finite existence. People that suffer this depression don't have the capability to just...stop and smell the roses. We're constantly striving for more, for better. It's an urgency that is in our blood, in our DNA that drives us to exceed and excel in the world.

And when what we're pursuing falls through, even temporarily, it destroys us. We'll bounce back, of course. But it's a killer, really, to be suffering from something so...unknown.

And there's no escape, because we're aware of EVERY second slipping by that we're not doing what we love with our lives. Loving the people we want, doing the things we want.

It's the main driving reason behind my network marketing business. It's the reason that I'm going to be building a foundation that will set me free in the future. So that I can live the life I want and create the things I want to create.

My life is as an artist, a creator. That's my soul and my destiny, I've known since I was barely able to crawl.

I won't ramble. But, I will become what I want.
Existential Depression, Why?
Join me? Let me know if you want to.
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I have an issue that I've been mulling over for...well, years.

I've been taking classes for years online for digital painting, art classes up the wazoo. And my style is still only as good as it was in Middle School. My lines are no better, my technical skills in all aspects are not improved in the least.

Is this the fate some of us are bound to? We have all the visions in our head, sure I can write a book or a story to put my ideas into the world and people's eyes. But I also have a burning hunger to see the ideas through paint, art of the hands or another medium.

This troubles me because as an creative soul it weighs on me heavily I have made no improvement in the last 14 years. 

I will always write, but when I have lulls I have the urge to draw. However, the drawings ignite a rage inside me that I can't put out unless I throw my paper against the wall. I'm not an abstract artist, that would never appeal to me.

All the books in the world haven't helped despite my constant drawing.

Complaining is finished. Go about your lives.

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TheSleepingGods

Artist | Student | Varied
United States
I'm learning to be the artists I always wanted to be. It's going to take hard work and dedication but I feel now is the point in my life when I can pursue and feel good about it.

Keep in touch.
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:iconnightshade-keyblade:
nightshade-keyblade Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Happy Birthday, man!
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:iconnightshade-keyblade:
nightshade-keyblade Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:iconhappybirthdaysignplz:
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:iconthesleepinggods:
TheSleepingGods Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2014  Student General Artist
Dawww. Thank you.
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:iconthenimster:
TheNimster Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Turns out, I did write another story like the one you liked.

thenimster.deviantart.com/art/…
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